terça-feira, fevereiro 17, 2009

Curriculum Vitae

Você percebe que sua vida anda sem pé nem cabeça, quando posta no blog às três e meia da matina, em plena terça-feira, mesmo sabendo que ninguém vai ler. Porém, os 80% de "obrigação" moral ainda restantes me empurram ao Acnóide - sacanagem deixar um moleque de oito anos assim, tão abandonado.

Por falar em moleque, me senti muito adolescente na semana passada. Lembram como era maravilhoso procurar emprego antigamente? Primeiro, você tinha que conhecer alguém que tivesse uma máquina de escrever ou computador, para fazer sua apresentação de maneira decente. Claro, precisaria também de alguém que soubesse mexer nessas coisas. Em todo caso, tudo isso era quase peça rara em 1998, por motivos diferentes. Minha mãe usava uma Olivetti no trabalho e lembro que fez um "curriculum vitae" para mim. Bem, eu nunca entendi porque explicar o que eu sei fazer em latim, já que não tenho planos de comer criancinhas ou matar judeus, mas sempre foi assim. Lembro que, como era apenas um teste, minha mãe colocou lá que eu era um garoto chato, bocudo, preguiçoso e convencido (pena que perdi aquela obra de arte, me pouparia muito tempo agora).

Voltando ao fio da meada, você tinha então que sair perambulando pela cidade, buscando com os olhos apertados e o suor na testa e axilas por uma placa de vaga de emprego, ou a mesa do RH de alguma empresa que você tivesse QI (isso não mudou NADA até hoje). Cumprimentava a pessoa, perguntava se tinha vaga em aberto, explicava brevemente a situação, deixava o curriculum e ia embora, imaginando: "Porra, entrei para o escravismo. Viva! Vou poder comprar cigarro e bebida quando sair - talvez até coma alguém!".

Pois bem, semana passada eu fiz tudo isso (hehe). Me desapeguei totalmente das facilidades que a internet proporciona e saí por dois shoppings de São Paulo entregando folhas de sulfite recheadas de preto, azul e umas mentirinhas que não matam ninguém. Fato, é: você nunca presenciará um rosto mais abismado a ouvir uma pergunta sua, do que aquele do: "Pode deixar curriculum aqui?". A pessoa imagina que você acabou de derreter diretamente da terra da Bjork até a porta da loja. Foda disso, é tentar explicar o que está acontecendo.

- Então, no meu curriculum diz que sou jornalista, porque sou jornalista, mas...
- Como?
- ...assim... eu sou formado em jornalismo, comunicação social na verdade, e...
- O curriculum é seu, né?
- Isso!
- Ah, pode deixar aqui sim, a loja tem RH próprio... depois a gente entrega.
- Po, legal! Obrigado!
- De nada e boa sorte! ;)
- ...é, mais uma dúvida... na verdade, aí diz que eu sou jornalista, mas... isso quer dizer que só vão tentar me colocar em vagas para... jornalismo? Comunicação...? Porque...
- Eu sei, você tá querendo o que tiver, né?
- ...isso! Hehehe...!
[risada de "é, me caguei todo"]

Mesmo com todas as dificuldades, três das quatro lojas que fui, aceitaram o papel. Uma delas só aceitava esse tipo de humilhação por meios virtuais - e o fiz, evidentemtente. Escolhi livrarias (Siciliano, Saraiva, Livraria Cultura), pois isso pode me ajudar a suportar a rotina massacrante que parece ser trabalhar em shopping. Também deixei em lojas de coisas super bacanas, modernas e caras, estilo Fnac e Fast, porque a gente consegue ficar imaginando qual o desgraçado que compra uma televisão LCD de 80'' à vista no Mastercard Black.

Agora é sentar e esperar.
Porque essa é a segunda parte de procurar emprego, e a mais filha da puta também.

23 Comentários:

Às 17 de fevereiro de 2009 às 10:41 , Blogger Pedro Nunes disse...

Espero que a Livraria Cultura nunca entre em contato com você. E se um dia entrarem e você for trabalhar lá, algumas semanas depois de começar vai se lembrar desse comentário e pensar "Ah, agora entendo que o Pedro disse aquilo pra mim como amigo, e não pra me sacanear!"

 
Às 18 de fevereiro de 2009 às 12:45 , Blogger Sra. Prozac disse...

"que compra uma televisão LCD de 80'' à vista no Mastercard Black."

Cof Cof

Eu compro.

Att.,
Penélope

 
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